January 2005 Ezine Linking Seniors, Family Caregivers and Healthcare Professionals

Drinking a Cup of Green Tea, I Stop the War.
Welcome Karen and Michelle!
Recipe Contest
Elder Care & Elder Rage: If I Only Knew Then ~ What I Know Now!
Calendar of Events
Marketing Tools for the Elder Care Business
Welcome New Certified Senior Approved Services!
How to Help Disaster Victims

Drinking a Cup of Green Tea, I Stop the War. (Buddhist saying)

Much as I love the winter holidays, there is something to be said for the day after everyone leaves, when gifts are put away, the house is clean again, and quiet.

I sit with a cup of Ginger Peach tea overlooking our snow-laden deck, and I am reminded of the Buddhist proverb, "Drinking a cup of green tea, I stop the war."

Not that I feel at war with anyone. But my relentless need to do, to list, to organize, to fret, to anticipate, to be proactive, to care-take-it all stops that moment I take the first sip.

Drinking tea (or some mornings disregarding my South Beach diet and feeling especially devilish to treat myself to Arabica's mocha) reminds me a little of the feeling I had the night 18 years ago when I decided to leave the convent after a 22-year stint.

At that point of decision (I swear I can't recall the exact trigger that helped me decide after years of struggle, but a definite clarity came upon me) it was as if God poured what I call a Pitcher of Peace all over me. I viscerally felt a warm, soothing calm pouring from above my head, slowly down my shoulders, upper torso, and down to my toes.

I knew then I made the right decision, and that the myriad details of this enormous life transition would somehow coalesce. (Remember, I'm the great list-maker!) For this moment, peace was all I needed. Drinking tea is not so profound as that 1986 experience, but it is a comforting second. I realize I can choose to stop my inner wars by picking my battles, by slowing down my pace…to regroup, to pray, to be still, to gain perspective.

Many days while enjoying my tea ritual off our kitchen, a bird flies by. Now much to my mother's chagrin, my first word was bird-not mama! I'm not sure why my fascination with our feathered friends, but the freedom to lift off and soar of one's own volition has always intrigued me. As liberating as this must be for a bird, it always returns to earth to hunt, to raise its family, to warble among friends. If soaring were all it needed, the bird would never alight.

The lesson I learn is that I must have this same balance in my life. I need time to be still, AND I need my time to be with family and friends, pay bills, tend to the details of this life. Soaring with the birds (quiet time) enriches my alighting on earth (busy time).

As 2005 unfolds, I encourage you to join me for a cup of tea and some precious moments of peace each day. If you enjoy reading, here are some books I highly recommend:

• Success:
  Seven Spiritual Laws of Success by Deepak Chopra (Becoming rich both spiritually and financially)
  
• Gratitude:
  Attitudes of Gratitude: How to Give and Receive Joy Every Day of Your Life by M.J. Ryan
  
• Fancy:
  
• The Toy Soldier: the magic begins! by Laura Bacci (A nostalgic walk through Cleveland's past downtown charm)
  
• Friendship:
  Racing across the Lines: Changing Race Relations through Friendship by Deborah Plummer, PhD
  
• Healing:
  One Small Step: Moving Beyond Trauma and Therapy to a Life of Joy by Yvonne Dolan
  
• Creativity:
  The Artist's Way: A Spiritual Path to Higher Creativity by Julia Cameron (Not just for painters!)

Milton Erikson once said, "Life will bring you pain all by itself. Your responsibility is to create joy." So have a cup of tea. Your war will stop for a time, and peace will begin with you.

Northcoast Conflict Solutions is a Senior Approved Service See March 5 on the Calendar of Events to see when and where Patti is scheduled for a book signing of her book, Truce!

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Welcome Karen and Michelle

Seniors Approve Free Web Community welcomes Karen a Senior from California and Michelle a retired Army RN. Both of these women offered great words of wisdom and recipes.

Feel free to create your own web page - or create one as a memory page on behalf of a senior or loved one! See Meet Our Seniors for the easy instructions.

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Recipes

See Karen's web page to read her recipe for Banana Cake
Michelle offers her recipe for

Compromise Soup
Take one pot and set in the middle of a city
Ask each person in the city to put one desire in the pot
Simmer until fully blended, do not allow to boil over
Strain off any negative energy
Add tolerance and acceptance
Stir vigoursly with love
Smile and enjoy with a stranger

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Elder Care & Elder Rage: If I Only Knew Then ~ What I Know Now!

For eleven years I begged my obstinate elderly father to allow a caregiver to help him with my ailing mother, but after 55 years of loving her, he adamantly insisted on taking care of her himself. Every caregiver I hired to help him sighed in exasperation, "Jacqueline, I just can't work with your father--his temper is impossible to handle. I don't think you'll be able to get him to accept help until he's on his knees himself."

My father had always been 90 percent wonderful, but boy-oh-boy, that raging temper was a doozy. He'd never turned his temper on me before, but then again, I'd never gone against his wishes either. When my mother nearly died from his inability to care for her, I had to step in and risk his wrath to save her--having no idea that in the process it would nearly cost me my own.

JEKYLL & HYDE

I spent three months nursing my mother back to relative "health", while my father, who was telling me he loved me one minute, would get furious about some trivial little thing, call me nasty names and throw me out of the house the next. I was stunned to see him get so upset over the most ridiculous things, even running the washing machine could cause a tizzy, and there was no way to reason with him. It was so heart wrenching to have my once-adoring father turn against me.

I immediately took him to his doctor and was astonished that he could act completely normal when he needed to. I couldn't believe it when the doctor looked at me as if I was the crazy one. She didn't even take me seriously when I reported that my father had nearly electrocuted my mother and that he he'd left the gas stove on and nearly burned the house down. Much later I found out that he'd instructed her not to listen to anything I said, because all I wanted was his money. (Boy do I wish he had some.)

Then things got serious. My father had never laid a hand on me my whole life, but one day he nearly choked me to death with his bare hands for adding HBO to his cable package, even though he had eagerly consented to it just a few days before. Terrified and devastated, I frantically called the police who took him to a psychiatric hospital for evaluation. After a couple days of tests and observation, I couldn't believe it when they released him, saying they couldn't find anything wrong with him. Similar horrifying incidents occurred four times.
Continue reading this fascinating article at Elder Care and Elder Rage

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Calendar of Events

Looking for a workshop to attend or a workshop to sponsor for your employees, seniors or staff? See Workshops and Self-Help Books

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Marketing Tools for the Elder Care Business

• How to Start a Home Care Business a comprehensive manual on how to start your own home care business. Available as an E-manual, Hard Copy or CD. Get started in this rapidly expanding service industry today!
  
• Coping with Caregiving a monthly Internet-only radio program heard worldwide. Learn how you might be a featured guest, interviewed by Author of Elder Rage, Jacqueline Marcell. The program has been expanded to include all aspects of health, aging, family relationships, baby boomer concerns, nutrition, childcare, eldercare, long-term care insurance/planning and more. Six guests are interviewed back-to-back during two hours with commercials in-between.

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Welcome New Certified Senior Approved Services!

The following businesses have received an excellent rating from their senior clients and the family members of the senior. Please help welcome our latest additions to our growing network of Certified Senior Approved Services!

M&M Partnership The owner of M&M Partnership has been successfully serving residents through her rental properties. Margaret, a senior herself, now offers her home for the independent senior (or couple) that would like to share her lovely home in Shaker Heights Ohio. Seniors will have a private bedroom and bath, all utilities included, and share the remainder of the home. Very reasonable rent!

The following businesses are currently under way with the survey process leading to Certification.

Park Creek Retirement Community in Parma Heights Ohio
My Home Care, Inc in Springfield IL
Attorney Mary Ann Thomas serving seniors and families throughout Cleveland Ohio
Elite Adult Day Services in Perry Ohio
Bayada Nurses a full service home care serving families throughout the state of Ohio

Our goal of becoming the ultimate one-call solution for family caregivers and their adult children is coming together! Please see Approved Services to review our Certified Senior Approved Services.

Within our directory, you will find Assisted Living Choices, Independent Senior Housing, Group Homes, Adult Day Services, Home Care (both medical and non-medical), Alternative Health Services, Handy Man and Cleaning Services, Elder Mediation Services, Affordable Legal Documentation Services, Bill-Paying Services, Elder Financial Services, LTC Health Insurance, Home Medical Equipment & Supplies, and much more!

Attention Seniors and Family Caregivers

The Certification is proof that the business you reach out to has a history of excellent quality service. Before you contract with a business, ask if they are Certified as a Senior Approved Service. If they are not, please pass our contact information to them. Our toll free number is 877-620-6488. We will help the business begin the survey process leading to certification.

Why trust any other business? All of our businesses within the network of Senior Approved Services have contracted with Quality Care Options to survey their clients. Only those businesses with a 90% or higher 'senior satisfaction rating' are awarded the Certification. The Certification removes the guesswork as you attempt to sift through the multiple choices available these days.

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How to Help Disaster Victims

Each of us feels stress with our own everyday lives. We can become overwhelmed by the extra added stress reading or watching the news, as we see what humans do to one another in the name of war and peace and the 'out of our control' occurrences that only mother nature has the power to unleash.

What to do? How can we help? I personally believe that world peace begins with peace in the family, peace within your hometown. Become a good steward of the gifts you were born with and those that you've acquired during your life, and you will be an active participant. You may not be able to join a World effort and dedicate your life to helping people across the ocean, but you can make a difference across the ocean and make a difference right here in your own home, by giving of yourself, one person at time.

Unfortunately, right after a tragic event, someone somewhere tries to profit from it. Seniors are often times targets for these scam artists who will solicit funds illegally, preying on the empathy of a senior. Our senior citizens, survivors of World War II, the Korean War and the Great Depression, know all too well what it feels like to suffer and consequently are very generous with their gifts to help. Con artists count on this generosity.

If you would like to help those suffering from the aftermath of the great Tsunami in the Asian countries, the following are legitimate organizations that offer a variety of ways for you to help. These organizations also offer the opportunity to help our troops in Iraq and their families here at home.
InterAction
Care USA
Disaster Relief Organization
The American Red Cross
Catholic Relief Organization
International Medical Corps

Can prayer help? Do you believe words have power, an energy or even a vibration? Regardless of your thoughts on religion, ponder the possibility that what you say out loud or words that you write, may have a consequence, a reaction if you will.

The following links will take you to legitimate organizations that pull together the power of prayer throughout our planet Earth.
World Network of Prayer
World Prayer Team
Unity World Prayer

Do you have a link to share? Post it on our Message Board

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As we ring in the New Year of 2005 let us be grateful for all that we have and all that we are. Let us claim for ourselves all that we deserve; love, peace and prosperity and let us claim the very same for all people near and far.

Happy New Years to All!

A Unity prayer for protection .... author unknown.