In This Issue

• Dialogue of an Old Woman
• Welcome Mark and Paul!
• Recipes
• The 2004 Vote
• Calendar of Events
• My Top 10 Holiday Stress Reminders
• I thought I knew what holiday stress was until my mother died
• Jokes

Dialogue of an Old Woman

The following is an excerpt, you can read the complete dialogue which talks about gay marriages, gun control and more in the Words of Wisdom section of the Seniors Approve Free Web Community

… How we should consider a candidate

What is a candidate? He or she is applying for a job that you and I, the taxpayer, is going to hire and pay. We are going to go to work every day and earn enough money to pay taxes to pay this person to do a job for us.

How did you get your job? Well, probably, you had to fill out an application. You may have had to allow a background check. You probably had to submit a resume.

Then, someone in human resource, checked your credentials, checked your credit history, checked your references. Then they talked with all of your previous employers. Then, the human resource person picked from the multiple applicants the top ten or twenty for the department heads to interview.

How nice would it be for the taxpayer, the employer of the prospective candidate to receive, in the mail, 10 or 20 resumes to consider. This would eliminate the 'spin' on facts. What is - is.

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Welcome

Welcome Paul Newell to the Quality Care Options staff.

Paul understands the struggles that the elder care industry faces everyday. He sees the Senior Approved Certification as an added benefit each of these types of businesses need in order to remain responsive to the consumer and competitive within the industry.

Paul represents Quality Care Options along Lake Erie's South Shore through western Cuyahoga, Lorain, Huron, Erie, Sandusky, Seneca and Ottawa Counties.

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Recipes

Since announcing the recipe contest last month we have received 100's of creative food recipes, recipes for marriages, recipes for a happy life, for raising kids and much more!

We hope that you'll submit your favorite recipe too by going to Recipe Contest

Healthcare professionals and caregivers - this is a great group project with your residents and clients!

Each month our staff will pick a favorite recipe to share with our readers. Camilla W. of Stockbridge Georgia submitted this recipe. We liked it because it's quick and everyone will think you spent hours on it!

Sweet Potato Casserole

3 cups of mashed sweet potatoes, 1 cup of sugar, 1/2 cup of butter (margarine) melted, 2 eggs, 1 tsp. of vanilla flavoring, 1/3 cup of milk. Mix and put in casserole dish.

Top: 1 cup of brown sugar, 1/2 cup of flour, 1/3 cup of butter (melted), 1 cup of pecans.

Mix with hands, sprinkle over top of potatoes.

Bake in 350-degree oven for 25 minutes

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The 2004 Vote

You can call their toll free number to report problems and to request assistance. Your vote counts and everyone wants it counted. 1-866-Our-Vote (1-866-687-8683)

Five Things You Need to Know on Election Day

1. Your Ballot, Your Vote Don't panic if you registered to vote but your name is not on the list. Get help from a poll worker to make sure your vote is counted. You may be directed to another polling place or given a provisional ballot.

2. I.D. - Don't Go Without It You may need to show I.D. To be safe, bring your driver's license, or a paycheck, utility bill or government document that includes your name and street address.

3. Writing on the Wall Look at the signs at the polling place for directions on how to use the voting machines, a list of your voting rights, and instructions for filing a complaint if your rights have been violated

4. When in Doubt - Ask Poll workers are there to help you. They'll show you how to work the machines and give you a provisional ballot if you need one. If you're at the wrong polling place, they should tell you how to get to the right one

5. In and Out You probably won't have to wait too long. But even if the line is long, don't leave without voting. The outcome of this election will be important

To learn more about the struggle women were forced to endure to receive the right to vote see World Book Facts

Moms and Grandmothers, please teach your daughters. Most are quite surprised to learn that we were not allowed - not permitted - excluded from - voting until the year 1920!

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The Calendar of Events

Looking for Holiday Stress Relievers? See Calendar for details on the following -

The Caregivers Guide to Cracking Up! is being sponsored by the Brecksville United Methodist Church on November the 10th.

Looking for help in marketing your elder care business? See Calendar for details on seminar entitled 'Dynamic Demographics' on November the 2nd.

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My Top Ten Reminders

1. Do not over commit your time. Schedule your visits realistically giving yourself permission to say, "I'd love to come but I've already made promises for this day."
2. Do not attend a gathering that you honestly do not want to attend.
3. Set a fixed budget on holiday spending and stick to it. Do not buy on credit.
4. Consider asking your family to use a gift exchange this year - it may surprise you to learn that this will offset stress others in your family are also feeling. The economy has been brutal to many people this year.
5. Breathe. To learn more about the healing and relaxing powers behind proper breathing see Healing Breath for links to informative web sites dedicated to breath work
6. Avoid or use in moderation all stimulants - sugar, caffeine, nicotine, and stimulating herbs
7. Get enough sleep
8. Exercise at least 15 minutes a day (find something you enjoy)
9. Eat three healthy meals every day
10. Belly Laugh for one minute twice a day and sing a happy song at least once a day

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I thought I knew what holiday stress was until my mother died.

Last year for our family, the holidays took on added stress. Our mother died in July, 2003 at age 80 and after years of dozens of illnesses and recoveries. She always gave herself two weeks to heal from surgeries, and then she was back into life: sewing, creating floral arrangements, redecorating the house, and until the last two years, making pierogies for Christmas Eve dinner.

In her last illness, we expected mother to live one or two more years, though we realized the quality of her life would be more compromised. Instead, within four days of hospitalization, she was gone.

With the holidays upon us, family members found ourselves in varying degrees of anticipation. Some of us didn't want to decorate; others wanted to skip the family dinner; still others intended to celebrate with full-scale tradition to honor mom.

The usual holiday stressors such as card-writing, gift-wrapping, baking, and decorating took on added weight as we continued grieving through our first year cycle of anniversaries-without-mom.

Almost annually, someone invites me to write an article on managing holiday stress. This year, I was running out of ideas, so I checked the web. Did you know there are over 311,580 sites on that topic? And, if you have lost a loved one, there are another 30,807 sites with extra special tips.

Too much reading before my deadline! Instead, I went to the person who I knew would help me the most: my 81-year old dad. His advice was simple:

• "If you wake in the morning and realize you're conscious, it's a day to celebrate life. I miss my wife every day, but I'm not going to waste what life I have left only by grieving her."

• "Re-focus your energy back to the intended meaning of the holiday. Getting caught up in presents and decorating isn't the intended meaning."

Now, my dad is very spiritual, sage, and philosophical. For those of us who still need down-to-earth, practical tips, here are a few more from the American Psychological Association especially for those celebrating a holiday after losing a loved one this year. And remember, the loss may have come through death, through moving away, romantic break up, traumatic illness or accident, or from divorce.

• Be realistic. If you have bad feelings about someone, avoid that person for the holidays. Don't pretend the holidays are so magical that they will suddenly allow everyone to get along.

• Create a special tribute for the day to honor the person you grieve. Light a candle, gather some memorabilia, write a poem, or include them by name in grace before the big meal.

• Ask for understanding. You may choose to skip the family gathering altogether or you may remind them (if you have a chronic illness, for example), that you're not being a scrooge but that this day is no different from any other. You're not feeling well or coping well, and need their understanding and support.

• Lower expectations. If our heavily tinseled expectation is that the holidays will transform our family into a love fest, we desperately need a reality check. No holiday compensates for the other 364 days of the year. Perhaps we need to put more energy into the 364, and less into the one to even the holiday playing field.

• Cut your card list. Have you noticed each year you are receiving fewer and fewer holiday cards? Whether because of time, increasing postal rates, or overextending, many folks have cut back. Why not you? This year, limit your list to close family or very close friends. No one will judge you or even remember a month from now if you sent a card or not.

• Streamline your decorations. This year will be simpler in our home. It is my turn to have the Christmas dinner. I am making pierogies for the first time (yikes!), so a simple tree, manger, and a few wreaths will suffice.

• Create new traditions. Mom always insisted we dress up, but this year the family wants to come casual. I would have preferred dressing up in mom's honor, but I much more prefer avoiding arguments. Pick your battles. Carve out new paths as you go. The importance of being together outweighs the externals.

Patricia (Patti) Bertschler is a licensed professional clinical counselor and co-owner of Northcoast Conflict Solutions, Independence, OH, where their goal is "making peace, one person at a time." She recently co-authored a handbook for families in conflict entitled TRUCE! Using Elder Mediation to Resolve Conflict among Families, Seniors, and Organizations.

To reach Patti for a counseling or mediation appointment, assertiveness coaching, speaking engagement, or other information please call (440) 262-3700 or visit Northcoast Conflict Solutions A Certifed Senior Approved Service

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Jokes

A police officer saw a car speeding down the highway. He started chasing after the speeder . When he got close he's saw it was a blonde woman who was actually knitting while driving.

The cop yelled, "Pull over!"

The blonde shouted back, "No! It's a sweater!"

I was out driving one day and a policeman pulled me over. In a very angry tone he said to me, "Don't you know the speed limit is 65 miles per hour?" I replied calmly, "Yes sir, but I wasn't planning on being out that long".

One day I woke up to find everything in my apartment had been stolen and replaced with exact duplicates.

I couldn't find my other sock and so I called information for help.

Submit your jokes for everyone to enjoy on our forum at Seniors Forum

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