Manners 101 ~ Working in the Elder Care Industry

Good Manners = Higher Employee Retention AND Higher Client Retention

Good old-fashion manners are essential when working in the elder care industry. Employers are struggling with how to teach good manners to employees. Most administrators and management staff are in the 40 plus age group, where as children good manners were taught in the home, being raised by the very generation they now serve. They are often surprised when their younger staff members, those typically working one-on-one with the senior, literally don’t ‘get it’ and truly do not understand the importance of the very basics of being polite to an elderly person.

The average age group of a senior receiving services or care directly from an aide or counselor is from 78 to 86. Typically, this is a widowed woman. In her generation, manners reflected respect and honor, for oneself and for others. There were definite ‘do’s and don’ts’

Practicing good manners will go a long way toward creating an overall atmosphere of mutual trust and respect in your work place. This in turns creates a more pleasant working environment for every employee. An employee that feels respected translates in to higher employee retention. A senior client that feels respected translates in to higher client retention.

Take a few moments during the day, observe your staff interacting with one another, and then observe the interaction your staff displays when working with your elderly clients or how they greet visitors to your place of business. You may find that the lack of good old-fashion manners is the root cause for poor employee relations and for unhappy seniors.

Equality

My pet peeve is the acceptance of a lower standard of treatment based on low income, race, and lower education. Do you treat a wealthy senior with more respect than a low-income senior? Do you treat your cleaning staff with less respect than your administrator? Do you treat those that are different from your skin color or ethnic background with less concern than you do those that are just like you?

Consider the following steps to correct an implement Manners 101 within your training and employee policies. It is essential that employees treat one another with respect. Seniors, especially those living in a facility, watch and observe how the staff treats one another. It makes an impact.

Manners ~ 101

• Lead by example If you are attempting to bring good manners in to your workplace – you must first do what you ask of your employees.

• Please and Thank You Two little phrases that mean a lot. Do you use these words? Check the tone of your voice. Will the listener hear that you ‘mean’ these words?

• Smile ~ look them in the eye When you are speaking with someone, are you connecting? A sincere smile and eye contact is essential.

• Mr. Or Mrs. When you are working with a senior, you should always address him or her by their proper name, Mrs. Smith or Mr. Smith until such time they tell you personally, that you may address them with another name.

• Yes Sir, No M’amm. Much better than, ‘nope’, or ‘yep’ or ‘okiedokie’ or ‘sure, whatever.’

• Introduce yourself to seniors, visitors to your place of business (all visitors – including the mail man, the janitorial service, etc. – remember you reflect your business – everyone has a parent!) with something appropriate such as: ‘ Hi there, my name is Barbara, how may I help you?’ Couple that with a smile and eye contact!

• Learn names and address each person properly. This actually takes a bit of mental discipline if your elder care business is large with a lot of employees and senior clients. People like to hear their names spoken out loud.

• Offer to help You are walking down a hallway and notice one of your co-workers needs assistance – offer to help – even though ‘it’s not your job’. You are walking through the lobby and notice a senior struggling with something, offer to help – even though this senior is ‘not assigned to you’.

• Stop gossiping You should never gossip about another employee or about a senior (and his or her family) within the workplace – or out in public anywhere. Gossip is offensive and causes dissention. Stopping it in the workplace is vital to creating a warm inviting atmosphere for both staff and clients.

  Dumping your personal problems on a senior is very inappropriate – they have enough to worry about. Bringing your personal home problems to work and discussing it with another employee within earshot of the senior is just as bad.

  Who cares what happens off site? How would you like to overhear gossip about your mother while standing in the check out lane at Wal-Mart or while having dinner at a restaurant? Just hearing this type of gossip, even if it's not about you or someone you know, will prevent a potential client from even considering your service.

• Personal hygiene is part of having good manners. As we age, many of our senses decline; eye sight, hearing and so forth. Our sense of smell however is often times heightened. In fact, studies show that our sense of smell is the last sense active right up to the end breath. Wearing strong perfume, the smell of cigarette smoke in your hair and on your clothes, body odor is offensive.

  Long fancy finger nails may enhance your ‘look’ when out on the town, but to a senior that has aging skin, your nails are cause for concern. Large rings, big earrings and gaudy necklaces are also cause for alarm for the same reasons.

• Diction, Slang, Profanity Most of the time what you say is less important to how you say it. A senior translates poor diction in to disrespect and even laziness. The use of slang and profanity should go without saying, right? Again, observe your staff. They may be using slang and or profanity and honestly may not be aware of how negatively they actually sound.

• “I am not your child” If there’s one thing an elderly person detests it’s being spoken ‘down to’. Employees are just as offended to a supervisor speaking to them in this manner.

  Just because a person needs your help getting dressed doesn’t mean they ought to be spoken to with a singsong voice and called ‘honey’ and treated as a child.

Mi Casa, Su Casa

For those of you working with the elderly in a facility (assisted living, adult group home, adult day centers, independent senior housing and nursing homes) you will find that your ability and willingness to create a ‘home-like’ environment, one that makes the senior feel as though they count and belong, will translate in to higher client retention.

This will also increase clients as existing satisfied clients recommend your facility (which they now feel as though they can say ‘Where I live’) to the friends they’ve left behind in the community.

Services in the Senior's Home

• Offer to remove your shoes before entering their home. Remember, this generation of seniors was taught to remove their shoes. This simple reflection of respect sets the tone immediately. You may want to carry a pair of clean shoes to change in to once you arrive.

• The ability to politely control your visit so that the senior is put at ease and recognizes that you are there to assist them is something that truly needs to be addressed with your staff before assigning a client to them. It is not the client’s responsibility to make you ‘feel comfortable’

• Respecting that seniors have a set method for how they wash dishes, how they cook or how they wash clothes is also important to a home care assistant. You simply need to ask, “Mrs. Smith, is there a special way that you want me to …..?”

• How to set limits and say no. Home care aides are often times asked to perform activities that they honestly should not do. Seniors may have an unrealistic expectation. The safe method for an in-home aide to reply to a request to ‘get on your knees to scrub the kitchen floor’ or ‘to wash the windows or mow the grass’ is the following: “Yes, Mrs. Smith, I see that it needs done but I have to stick with the care plan my boss set up for me. May I use your phone to call my supervisor so we can ask about this?”

• Telephone use at a client’s home – First, in-home aides should never give out the phone number of their clients’ home to anyone. Therefore, they should never be in a situation where they are receiving personal calls. Next, aides should never use the clients’ phone for any reason other than business related to the senior client. When answering the telephone at a clients home, the aide should answer, “Mrs. Smith’s residence, this is Barbara, how may I help you?” You don’t want to announce that you are the aide; the senior may not want their friends to know they need help. Let the senior decide how to explain your presence.

• Answering the door. Safety first! Never open a door until you know who is there. Find out who it is and then let the senior know. The senior will tell you if it’s okay to let this person in or not.

Working within the elder care industry is not for everyone. You genuinely must love older adults. Your sincerity and concern for our elderly will come across and good manners will not only make the senior feel wanted and respected, but it will make your day far more rewarding.

The best method to instill the importance of treating our senior clients with respect, is to respect your employees and in turn, expect the same from him or her.

manners